Joke:son-in-law
A 60 year old woman came home one day and heard strange noises in her bedroom. She opened the door and discovered her 40 year old daughter playing with a vibrator. "What are you doing?" asked the mother.
"Mom, I'm 40 years old, and look at me. I'm ugly. I'll never

Good News or Bad?
There was a millionaire who was having a heart attack,
and he was taken to a hospital emergency room. After
he was admitted to the hospital his three sons and four
daughters walked up and down the corridor, waiting,
pacing the floor. When the doctor came out of the

英文笑话:AFRICAN ROULETTE
Joke:AFRICAN ROULETTE
The new American Ambassador was being entertained by an
African Diplomat. They had spent the day discussing the progress the country had made with the Russians before kicking them out. "They built us a

A duck walks into a feed store and asks, "Got any duck feed?"
The clerk tells him, "No, we don't have a market for it so we don't carry it."
The duck says, "Okay," and leaves.
The next day, the duck again walks in to the feed store and asks, "Got any duck feed?" Again th

A country maid was walking to the town to sell some milk, which she carried in a pitcher on her head. As she went along, she said to herself, “I have already fifty eggs at home; with the money which I get for my milk I will buy fifty more. These hundred eggs cannot fail to bring me at least eighty chickens. The chickens will be ready for market jus

Joke: Stop That
One day little Johnny was in class when the teacher let go of a ripper of a fart.
She then turns around and blames it on Johnny and says, "Johnny stop that!"
Johnny then jumps onto his desk and says, "Which way did it go?"

Little Johnny's father thought that Johnny was spending too much time playing computer games.He wanted to make little Johnny pay more attention to his schoolwork,so he said,"When Abe Lincoln was your age,he was studying by the light of the fireplace ."
Little Johnny said,"When Abe Linco

you're not going to make it 你活不成了
Gravely ill, a man went to the doctor with his wife. After the examination the physician motioned for the wife to meet him in the hallway.
一个人得了重病，妻子伴随他去看医生。检查过后，医生示意病人的妻子到走廊见他。
"Your husband is very sick, " the doct

[ 张洪伟] 起名字的问题：中西方都不愿意以献花、野草起名字，什么牡丹玫瑰，小红小翠了，一听就变味了；张建、李建，但不能叫范建（贱）了；北京以前有个建（贱）人学校，你打电话咨询，服务小姐会说：您好，贱人。
[张洪伟] I have a dream ……中国连续7年大丰收，美国连续7年大旱，颗粒无收，美国立即由超级大国沦落为第三世界发展中国家。很多美国人梦想到中国来，我们就让他们考汉语托福、 GRE，考文言文太简单了，要考就考甲骨文，而且规定只能用毛笔、龟壳答题，第一题就考活雷锋与活蜜蜂的关系，分值50分！
[ 关键] 上课我没什么要求大家的，你们只要keep mind active

This Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face. "Say, mom, why is my bigger brother named Mighty Storm?" She told him, "because he was conceived during a mighty storm." Then he asked, "Why is my sister named Cornflower?" She replied, "Well, your father and I were in a cornfield when we

Elephant Time
A young man is wandering around the zoo looking at the animals. He suddenly remembers about an appointment that he scheduled. Unfortunately, he forgot his watch. He searchs for someone who could give him the time.
He sees a zoo keeper standing next to an elephant. "Excuse

A man walks past a beggar on the conner of the street where he works. The beggar holds out his one hand and the man drops a coin into his hand. One day the man walks past the beggar again and notices the beggar is holding out both his hands. He asks:"Why are you holding out both of your hands?" The beggar replies,"You see sir, busine

Wishful Thinking
There was a grandfather who came home with two blessed
candies to give to his grandson. One was green and the
other was red, and he asked his grandson, "Which candy
would you like to have?" So the grandson took the green
one. Just out of curio

Gettin' Drunk
One day this guy was sitting at this bar in Chicago and looks over and sees this guy that looks exactly like him. He says to the guy, “Hey you look just like me!”
The other man agrees and asks, “Where are you from?”
The first guy answers, “Chi

The Wrong Kind of Doctor
There was a lady who went to see a doctor, and the doctor said,
"Sit down, Ma'am. What's the matter with you? Can you tell me
what's wrong?" And then the lady snapped and said, "This is for
you to find out, you know?" The doctor said, "All right!