'Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.' The lady said, 'It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.' 'I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.'
　 　 　 'It is still too much,' replied the old lady, 'give it to me for five.'
　　　　　一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。
　　　她问店员：“这东西要多少钱？”
　　　　　“七美元，太太，这是很便宜的。” 老太太说：“太贵了，十四美元差不多。”
　　　　　店

　　I was accompanying my husband on a business trip. He carried his portable computer with him, and the guard at the airport gate asked him to open the case. It was locked, and the man waited patiently as my embarrassed spouse struggled to remember the combination . At last he succeeded.
　　'Why are you so nervous?' I asked him.
　　'The number

"Only to kill time." she replied.
"You've got a fine weapon, I must admit." ventured the young man.
二、a funny thing
when i was a freshman in our university,one day,our new teacher want us to say sth about yourself then ,a student standed up, and said "i come from shandong ,and i want to learn more when im in unive

　　　Jack: Certainly.
　　　Tom: And why?
　　　Jack: Because otherwise he would try to borrow it from me.
　　　汤姆：威廉向我借五英镑。我该不该借给他？
　　　杰克：当然应该了。
　　　汤姆：为什么？
　　　杰克：否则他就该跟我借了。

作者：起个笔名还真麻烦
    A Soldier's Brilliant Idea
    Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been t

茶点已经准备好了，请用。
Mr. Zhang: Thank you.
谢谢。
Tim: Would you like to refresh yourself?
您可以先去洗手间。
Mr. Zhang: Thank you, but before that I would like to go to the rest room.
谢谢，但是我想先去洗手间。
（张先生想在吃茶点前先去厕所，所以当提姆主任让他去洗手间时，他以为提姆再次请他去享用refreshments(茶点)。）
Tim: Of course. This way.

More Polite
A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite.
The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was the mor

小鸡是怎样事先钻进蛋壳里的呢 　　
One day, a teacher took his pupils to a chicken farm to pay a visit. When they came near the incubator, chick just got out of its egg shell.
一天，老师带学生到养鸡场参

　　Dan was the doorman of a club in a big city. Everyday, thousands of people passed his door, and a lot of them stopped and asked him, "What’s the time, please?"
丹在一个大城市的某个俱乐部当守门人。每天都有数千人经过他的门口，而且许多人都会停下来问他:“请问现在几点？”
After a few months, Dan said to himself, "I’m not going to answer all those stupid people any more. I’m goi

　　老师：迈克，你老是叫你的父亲替你做作业，这次又……
Mike: Pardon, sir, this time at first I would not let him do it, but mother was too busy.
迈克：对不起，老师，这次作业我本不打算让爸爸替我做，可妈妈实在太忙。

When you don\'t do it, you\'re lazy.
When your boss doesn\'t do it, he\'s too busy.
When you make a mistake, you\'re an idiot(蠢货).
When your boss makes a mistake, he\'s only human.
When doing something without being told, you\'re overstepping your authority（超越权限）.
When your boss does the same thing, that\'s initi

When I was born, I was black.
當我出生時，我是黑色的
When I grow up, I am black.
我長大了，我是黑色的
When I'm under the sun, I'm black.
我在陽光下，我是黑色的
When I'm cold, I'm black.
我寒冷時，我是黑色的
When I'm afraid, I'm black.
我害怕時，我是黑色的
When I'm sick, I'm black.
我生病了，我是黑色的
When I die, I'm still black.
當我

I asked him if there was a special significance to buying 17 roses rather than the normal one or two dozen.
'No,'he answered,'That was the minimum amount that could be charged.'

“Will the lipstick fade after being kissed?”
The male clerk thought for a while and answered.
“Well, we can have a try first and see.”
    口红会褪色吗？
买口红之前，一位年轻女士在化妆品柜台前问售货员：“接吻后这口红会褪色吗？”
男售货员想了想回答说：“哦，我们俩可以先试试看。”

The Scotchman and the Robbers
    A Scotchman was attacked by three highwaymen, and defended himself with great courage. After much difficulty, the robbers succeeded in overpowering him, and his pockets were searched. They expected, after such a severe struggle, to find a large sum of money; but were surprised to discover he h