Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?
Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".
老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到?
汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,僦看见一个牌子仩写着"学校----慢行".

　One day, the teacher inquired of Peter:" How much is four minus four?" Peter was tongue-tied. The teacher got angry and said: "What a fool! You see, if I put four coins in your pocket, but there is a hole in your pocket and all of them leak out, now what is left in your pocket?" "The hole," replied Peter。

It’s Safe to Come Home Now
(Originally in English)
A lady came to report to the police that her husband had
disappeared. So the officer looked at the man’s
photograph, questioned the woman for a few minutes and
then asked whether she wanted to give her husband any
first message if they found h

Bring Me The Winner
Once, a fellow went into a restaurant and ordered a two-pound lobster.

Captain's recording
机长的录音
This is your captain speaking. On behalf of my crew ...I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic. "If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, y

A strange call
A Chicago family was having dinner when the phone rung. The maid answered and said, "It sure is!" and hung up. The same thing happened five minutes later." What's going on?" asked the father.
"Some crackpot, " explained the maid, "keeps calling to say, "It's long distance f

For Love or for Money
An elderly man on the beach found a magic lamp. He picked it up and a genie appeared. “Because you have freed me,” the genie said, “I will grant you a wish.”
The man thought for a moment and then responded, “My brother and I had a fight 30 years ago and he hasn’t spoken to me since. I wish that he’ll for

Captain's recording
机长的录音
This is your captain speaking. On behalf of my crew ...I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic. "If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, y

Saving Lives
At a pre-med university in St. Louis, we had to take a difficult class in physics. One day the professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A student rudely interrupted to ask "Why do we have to learn this stuff?"
"To save lives." The professor responded quickly

Talking on the Telephone
Each Sunday the minister called the children to the front of the church while telling them a story. Once he brought a telephone to better illustrate the idea of prayer.“You talk to people on the telephone and don’t see them of the other end of the line, right?” he began. The children nodded yes. “Well, talk

Guest: Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?
Jonny: Because you are using his plate.
客人：为什么你的狗坐在那里看着我吃东西啊？
Jonny：因为你正在用他的盘子。

But the Chinese did!
One day Mr. Tom said to one of his friends, “I’m going to have a holiday in Beijing. But I don’t speak Chinese, so I’ll go to evening classes and have Chinese lessons for a month before I go.”
He studied very hard for a month, and then his holidays began and he went to China.
When he came back a f

Talking on the Telephone
Each Sunday the minister called the children to the front of the church while telling them a story. Once he brought a telephone to better illustrate the idea of prayer.“You talk to people on the telephone and don’t see them of the other end of the line, right?” he began. The children nodded yes. “Well, talkin

The Best Stimulant
(Originally in English)
A patient said to his doctor, "Doc, please give me something
that will stimulate me, excite me, and put me
in a, very, very highly stimulated spirit, a fighting, excited spirit."
So the doctor said, "Don't worry, take this, and
after you see the bill, you will have all th

　a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?"
　　asked the friend. The woman replied, "A billionaire."
　　　　　　　　　百万富翁
　　“我把丈夫变成了一个百万富翁。”一个女人告诉她的朋友。
　　“那他结婚前是什么样的呢？”朋友问。
　　“那时他是个千万富翁。”