what do I get?
Teacher: If I cut a beefsteak in half and then cut the half in half, what do I get?
Tommy: Quarters.
Teacher: And then if I cut it twice again?
Tommy: Hamburger.
我能得到什

You're facing the wrong way. In a cinema, a lady turned round and said to the giggling schoolgirls
　　behind her: "Do you mind, I'm trying to watch the film."
　　　 "In that case," said one of them, "you're facing the wrong way."
你看错方向了
　　 　 剧院里，一位女士回头对后面正在说笑的一群女学生说：“如果你
　　们不介意的话，我想看这场电影。”
　　 　

　　The girl found the go-between and said, "You cheated me ! One of his eyes is not true. Why didn't you tell me this before ?"
"I have told you. " said the go-between with justice on his side, When you met first, I told you that he settled on you with one eye.

I love you, too
Boyfriend: I'm not rich and don't have a yacht or convertible like Harry,but I love you, dear.
Girlfriend: I love you, too. But tell me more about Harry.
我也爱你
男朋友：虽然我不象哈里那样有豪华游艇和舒适的生活，但是我爱你，亲爱的。
女朋友：我也爱你。不过你能否告诉我有关哈里的一些情况呢？

All Right
Hurrying my 11-year old daughter to school, I made a right turn at a red light when it was prohibited. "Uh-oh," I said, realizing my mistake. "I just make an illegal turn."
"I guess it's all ri

I have heard one sad story of a hitchhiker who went into a shop and saw the sign "Lift" but found it too heavy, then saw the sign "Pet Supplies" so he did, this wasn't too bad but then he went outside and saw the sign "Compact Cars" and went to prison for ten years.
A：一个搭车者，走进一家商店，看见Lift(千斤顶)的标签，看见Pet Supplies(宠物用品)的标签，看见Compact Cars(小轿

A Short Holiday
Alan worked in an office in the city. He worked very hard and really looked forward to his holidays.
He usually went to the seaside, but one year he saw an ad in a newspaper "Enjoy country life. Spend a few weeks at Willow Farm. Good food, f

A Woman's answer
A husband said to his wife, " Why did God create women to be beautiful but foolish?"
"Well," his wife answered at once." The reason is very simple. God made us beautiful so men would love us; God made us foolish so we would marry them

A Holiday from School
Tommy hated school and was always looking for excuses not to go.
If he sneezed, he asked his mother to write a note saying he had a cold.
If he had a headache, he asked his mother to take him to the doctor during school hou

幽默笑话

I Understand Him
While eating in a restaurant, I reprimanded my four-year-old son for speaking with his mouth full . "Mump umn Kmpfhm," was all I heard.
"Drew," I scolded, "no one can understand a word you're saying.
"He says he wants some ketch

Violin Lessons
"Daddy, can I learn to play the violin?" young Sarah asked her father. She was always asking for things and her father was not very pleased.
"You cost me a lot of money, Sarah," he said. "First you wanted to learn horse riding, then dancing,

Jesus's Telly
　　A child on Christmas time asked for some paper and crayons in order to draw a crib. Eventually the artistic masterpiece was displayed for parental approval. The manager, the shepherds, Jesus and Holy Family wore duly admired.
　　"But what's that in the corner?" asked Mother.
　　"Oh, that's their telly," replied the t

Such a Long Dog
Once there was a blind. One day when he was walking, he stepped the head of the dog who was sleeping. The dog barked for a while. The blind man went on for miles, this time he stepped the other dog's tail, so this dog barked. The blind man had tho

The Stories Are Still in Them
During a visit to my mother' s home, I joined her in the living room to talk, read and watch television. Facing a bookcase that has been in the same spot since I was a child, I let my eyes wander over the familiar volumes, many of which no