I Love You, Too
Boyfriend: I'm not rich and don't have a yacht or convertible like Harry,but I love you, dear.
Girlfriend: I love you, too. But tell me more about Harry.
我也爱你
男朋友：虽然我不象哈里那样有豪华游艇和舒适的生活，但是我爱你，亲爱的。
女朋友：我也爱你。不过你能否告诉我有关哈里的一些情况呢？

　　A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half of the coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: "That'll be terrific! Since one stove can save half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed!"
　　精明的家庭主妇
一位精明的家庭主妇听人说有一种炉子用起来可以比她现在用的炉子省一半的煤。她听了大为兴奋，说：“那太好了！一个炉子可以省

An Advertisement for Modern Bicycle
Tom saw an advertisement in a newspaper for a beautiful modern bicycle which cost ￡50, so he went to the shop to have a look.
After examining the bicycle carefully, Tom turned to the shopkeeper and said, "There isn't a lamp on this bicycle, but there was one on the bicy

Friend for Dinner
"Honey," said the husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."
"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"
"I know all that."
"Then why did you invite a fri

Be Much Worse
Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?
Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.
可能更糟
警察：当你的手表被抢的时候，你为什么不大声喊叫呢？
男士：如果我张嘴喊叫，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那样情况就更糟了！

The Lost Purse
A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her
Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm.... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."
The boy quickly replied,

Two Brothers
Two little boys wanted to ask a favor of their mother.
　　　 "You ask her," said Paul, age ten. "No," said Roy, age nine, "You ask her, you have known her longer than I have."
两兄弟
两个小男孩想找他们的母亲帮忙。
　　　“你去找她。”十岁的保罗说。
　　　“不，”九岁的罗伊说，“你去，你比我更早认识她。”

"Excuse me, was it your foot I stepped on when I was going out a moment ago?"
" Yes, but it doesn't really matter. It didn't hurt at all."
"Oh, no, it isn't that. I only want to make sure that this is my row."
保证没走错
在一家电影院里，一名观众在演出期间站了起来，沿着他那排位子走到休息室去了。几分钟后，他回到那排位子并问坐在首位的那位男士道：
“对不起，请问我刚才出去的时候是踩着你

Good　Calculation 　　
"I am sorry, madam, but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth." 　　"Twenty dollars! Why, I understood you to say that you charged on ly four dollars for such work!" "Yes." replied the dentist, "but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the offic

As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, "I cannot die without telling you the truth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage. All those nights when I told you I was working late, I was with other women. And not just one woman either, but I've slept with dozens of them."
His wife looked at h

Bring Me The Winner
Once, a fellow went into a restaurant and ordered a two-pound lobster.
"Waiter," he said when his meal was placed before him, "this lobster has only one claw."
　 "I'm sorry, sir," the waiter replied. "but sometimes the lobsters  fight in the

  Wedding night, husband deep feeling of say to the wife:"Dear of, I love you, I swear hereafter can't certainly do a sorry your business, if I do, certainly encountering for a day, the thunderclap splits, don't die a natural death!"Newly married but soon, the husband made a sorry cuckoldry matter.
On the first, t

Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions.
Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?"
"Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I re

Friend for Dinner
"Honey," said the husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."

Mom: Don't come in! Your feet are too dirty!
Boy: No, my feet are clean, Mom. But my shoes are dirty.
妈妈：别进来！你的脚太脏了！
男孩：不，我的脚不脏，妈妈。只不过我的鞋子是脏的