I'm an editor of a newspaper. One day a foreigner made a call to me. He said in Chinese that he liked our newspaper very much, which made me very happy. Then I said "Could you tell me some impression about our newspaper?" The foreigner spoke a lot. But I didn't know which language he spoke. It was not Chinese, nor Japanese. Was he speaking Spanish?

　　以下几则特别的 Answer 体现了美国佬的幽默，你能体会出其幽默所在吗？
　　My wife and I can‘t come to the phone right now, but if you‘ll leave your name and number, we‘ll get back to you as soon as we‘re finished.
　　Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid

A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子

She asked, "What are all those clocks?"???
St Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said Hillary, "who's clock is that?"
"That's Mother Theresa's. The hands have never moved indicating that she never told a lie."

（二）
某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，忙说：I am sorry。
老外应道：I am sorry too。
某人听后又道：I am sorry three。
老外不解，问：What are you sorry for? 某人无奈，道：I am sorry five。

    One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. "It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two."
The boss eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?"
"I finally gave up," he said, "and started for home."
你是怎样回来的？

The fried-chicken restaurant where I was working had a big rush just before closing one day, leaving us with nothing to sell but wings. As I was about to lock the doors, a quietly intoxicated customer came in and ordered dinner. When I asked if wings would be all right, he leaned over the counter and replied, "Lady, I came in here to eat, not fly."

    “Twenty  dollars!   Why，I  understand  you  to  say  that  you  charged  only  four  dollars  for  such  work!”
    “Yes ，but  this  youngster  yelled  so  terribly  that  he  scared 

A friend asked a gentleman how it is that he never married?
"Well," replied the gentleman, " I guess I just never met the right woman ... I guess I've been looking for the perfect girl."
"Oh, come on now," said the friend, "Surely you have met at least one girl that you wanted to marry."
"Yes, there was one girl

　　If you don't, you are good for nothing 不夸吧，说你笨蛋
　　If you agree to all her likes, she is abusing 顺她吧，说你气管炎
　　If you don't, you are not understanding 不顺吧，不善解人
　　If you make romance, you are an 'experienced man' 太浪漫，疑你老练
　　If you don't you are half a man 太规矩，魅力不足
　　If you visit her too often, she thinks it is boring 常看她，招她厌烦
　　

　　"I suppose so-it's paid for."
"How about our car?" continued the woman. "Would the two of you keep that?"
"I suppose so-it's paid for.
"What about golf clubs? Would you let her use them too?"
"Heck, no," the husband blurted out. "She's left-handed.

　　'I hope that all the cigarette factories will catch fire someday.'
　　'Don't worry, dear. All the cigarettes will be on fire sooner or later.' He said with a smile.
　　玛丽非常讨厌丈夫吸烟，一天对他抱怨说：“我希望有一天所有卷烟厂都失火。”
　　“不用担心，亲爱的，所有的烟卷迟早都会点着的。”他笑着说。

　　Mr.Smith: Yes.
　　Mr.Johnson: Fine. Then can I borrow your tennis racket, since you won't be needing it?
　　约翰逊先生：今天下午你准备用割草机吗？
　　史密斯先生：是的。
　　约翰逊先生：太好了。既然您不用网球拍，那我可以借用一下吗？

　　One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall.
　　On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.When I finally entered the house, I called out.'The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield.'
　　My husband looked up and said, 'Mom's here?'

　　妈妈：你为什么不停地跳上跳下的？
　　汤姆：我刚吃完药，可我忘了先摇动瓶子了。