九阴白骨爪 nine woman catch a white bone
　　(九个女人抓著一个白骨，老外看了还以为会出现召唤兽呢)
神照经 god bless you (神保佑你，我还天国已近勒)
胡家刀法 Dr.hu’’sword (胡博士的剑，天哪 咱们的胡兄何时成了博士)
两仪剑法 1/2 sword (二分之一的剑，挖勒 请问是左右二分之一还是上下二分之一阿)
一阳指 one finger just like a pen is (一只手指像笔一样?? 还真不是盖的)
洗髓经 wash bone (洗骨头?? 谁敢去给别人洗骨头阿)
　　

　　怎么是你，怎么老是你?
3．you don’t bird me,I don’t bird you
　　你不鸟我，我也不鸟你
4．you have seed I will give you some color to see see, brothers ！ together up ！
　　你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上！
5．hello everybody!if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothing to say,go home!!
　　有事起奏，无事退朝
6．yo

wives, while the third remains quiet.
After a while one of the first two turns to the third and
says, "Well, what about you, what sort of control do you
have over your wife?"
The third fellow says, "I'll tell you. Just the other night
my wife came to me on her hands and knees."
The first two guys were amazed. "Wow!

  "I have good news and bad news," the owner replied.  "The good news is that a gentleman enquired about your work and
wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."
    "That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"

　　瘪三--BEG SIR，乞丐先生，用来形容叫花子、难民、逃荒者等各式穷人，引申为最广泛的骂人用语之一
这些至今仍被大量使用的俚语，组成殖民地上海的劣质性语境，它们试图为这个高度现代化的都市提供一种负面估量。
为了推销劣质文化和劣质商品，某种相应的欺诈文化应运而生了，这导致了那些用以描述欺诈事件的语词的连锁涌现：
赤佬--是英语“CHEAT”和中文“佬”的混生词语
小开--小KITE，小骗子之意，后引申为对有钱人的泛称，有时也用为老开
门槛精--MonKEY精，猴子精，引申为聪明的、精明的
戆大--GANDER，傻瓜，呆鹅，糊涂

　　《ashes of time》——时间的灰烬（《东邪西毒》，这个译名意味深长，无论你是东邪还是西毒，武功再高还不是最后都成了时间的灰烬？）
《all men are brothers: blood of the leopard》--四海之内皆兄弟：豹子的血（《水浒传》，《水浒传》有个英文译名就是《四海之内皆兄弟》）
《chinese odyssey 1: pandora‘s box》——中国的奥德赛1：潘多拉宝盒（《大话西游之月光宝盒》，这个绝对是入乡随俗了，不过好象都挨不上边耶）
《chinese odyssey 2: cinderella》——灰姑娘（《大话西游之仙履奇缘》，至尊宝成了孙悟空，灰姑娘穿上了水晶鞋，天

    鱼网
    "你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？" 老师发问道。
    "把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。

　　“你将被允许加入陪审团，”法官宣布。“我们每次只听一面之辞。”
One Side of the Case
A judge asked our group of potential jurors whether anyone should be excused, and one man raised his hand.
"I can't hear out of my left ear," the man told the judge.
"Can you hear out of your right ear?" the judge asked. The man n

Dear wang litte girl:
亲爱的王小姐：　
（翻译这句，我可费了不少心思，中文直接用”亲爱的”未免显得肉中有肉，麻中有麻，还是老外开放，一般朋友也可以用dear，这样自己的贼心可以得到满足而又不唐突。姐想译成sister吧，怕她理解成小妹，一开始就叫人小妹，我好意思开口，人家还不一定好意思应呢，把小姐译成littlegirl吧，又怕她理解成小丫头，这样”wang littlegirl”变成了王小丫，上天作证，我可没有喜欢这个漂亮的主持人，其实主要知道喜欢了也白搭，就象明知是垃圾股又何必再投资进去呢？最后采用考试时常用的方法-----丢硬币决定还是译成litte girl。）
From see you one　eye, I shi

　　“是的，长官。”他回答道。
　　“你能看见那座山上的无线电天线吗？”那士兵又说他能。“那么，”连长接着说：“你能看见停在天线上的那只鸟吗？”
　　那名中士身体前倾，眼睛眯成一条缝。“看不见，长官，”他说，“但我听见它在唱歌。”
　　他得到了那份工作。
Quick Reaction
My battery commander and I were interviewing candidates for a position as reconnaissance sergeant in our artillery unit. The selected

A Smart Housewife.
　　A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half of the coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: "That'll be terrific! Since one stove can save half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed!"
　　精明的家庭主妇
一位精明的家庭主妇听人说有一种

　　　 "Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
　　    狗也知道这个谚语吗？
　　　 一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
　　　“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”
　　　“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”

　　　 "Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
　　　 The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
　　 

The poor husband
"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.
可怜的丈夫
“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说，“她问我一个问题，然后自

I Wasn't Asleep
　　　When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep,  and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"
　　　"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.
　　　"Not asleep? But you had your e