A Family Rule
Mr. and Mrs. Jones very seldom go out in the evening, but last saturday, Mrs. Jones said to her husband, "There is a good film at the cinema tonight. Can we go and see it?"
Mr. Jones was quite happy about it, so they went, and both of them enjoyed the film.

Creative
Applying for my first job, I realized I had to be creative in listing my few qualifications. Asked about additional schooling and training, I answered truthfully that I had spent three years in computer programming classes. I got the job.

Six or Twelve?
六还是十二？
A blonde went into a pizza parlor. When she said that she‘d like a medium pizza, the clerk asked her how many pieces she‘d like to have it cut into: six or twelve. “Oh, goodness, six please,” said the blonde. “I don‘t think I could ever eat twelve.”

                            Where It Should Be Plugged
    A mother is very good at us

How Did You Ever Get Here?
你是怎样来的？
One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. "It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two."
一个冬天的早晨，一名雇员解释他为什么迟到了四十五分钟才起来上班。“外面太滑了

I didn't see you
A car rushed through the red light.
Police: Didn't you see the red light?
Driver: I did, but I didn't see you.
一辆轿车闯了红灯。
交警：你没有看到红灯吗？
司机：看到了，但我没有看到你。

Mr. Smith taught English at a school.
史密斯先生在一所学校教英语。
At the beginning of his lesson, he liked to have one of his students give a report on any subject.
在每次课的开始，他喜欢叫一个学生上讲台作讲演，题材不限。
When it was Jack's turn, he told his audience about

Bring me the winner then
Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
Well, bring me the winner then.
给我那个打赢的吧
服务员，这个龙虾只有一只爪。
对不起，先生，这只肯定

Can I get a raise in my wages?
"Mr. Black, I have just been married, therefore can I get a raise in my wages?"
"I am sorry, but I can't help you. For accidents which happen to our workers outside the factory, we are not responsible."  

                  A Coach and His Players
     
  　I was the new coach of a Little League baseball tea

The mean man's party  
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

Two Tickets Please
　　A young man was in love with a girl. At one weekend, he invited his girlfriend to the cinema. When they were at the ticket box, the young man said to the ticket seller, "Two tickets, please. "
　　When the ticket seller told him

Whose Son Is the Greatest
    The mothers of four priests got together and were discussing their sons. "My son is a monsignor," said the first proud woman. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Monsignor'."
The s