Tommy's father rushed out of the bathroom waving his shaving brush.
"This thing's useless!" he complained. "I can't shave with it."
"That's funny," said Tommy. "It was fine this morning when I washed my bike with it." 　
今天早晨还好着呢

Frank likes gambling very much. Once he gambled with his boss,
saying, "A mole is on your chest, if you don't believe it, let's bet $500 on it."
The boss said seriously, "Give me your money." Saying that, he took off his clothes, as a matter of fact, nothing was on his chest. The boss got the money happily.

Frank did not know his lesson. The teacher said to him, "If we do not know our lesson, we shall write it out ten times for tomorrow."
The next day Frank gave his task to the teacher, who said, "You only wrote your lesson five times, why?"

A teacher was asking a student a lot of questions, but the student couldn't answer any of them. The teacher then decided to ask him some very easy questions so that he could get a few right.
"What was Bunker Hill?"she said.
The student thought for

The boy's clothing shop was giving away balloons to customers'
children. One little fellow asked if he might have two.
"Sorry," the clerk said,"but we give only one balloon to each child. Do you have a brother at home?"
The youngster was always

Woman: Doctor! Doctor!
Doctor: What's wrong with you?
Woman: Please come at once. My husband is badly ill. He is having
a very bad fever.
Doctor: Well, madam, have you taken his temperature?
Woman: Oh, yes, I did. It is 63'c!
Doctor

A man walks into a Doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
"What's the matter with me, Doc?" he asked.
"You're not eating properly!" replied the Doctor. 　
医生的诊断

A young couple was becoming anxious about their four-year-old son, who had not yet talked. They took him to specialists, but the doctors found nothing wrong with him.
Then one morning at breakfast the boy suddenly blurted, "Mom, the
toast is burned

Bob: I had a rough time this morning. The farmer caught me in
one of his peach trees.
Barbara: Gosh! What did you do?
Bob: I told him one of his peaches fell down and I was trying to
put it back!  
把桃子放回树上去。

A week before his birthday, Mrs. Jones bought her son Mathew
a new bicycle and hid it in the shed.
"Now Jenny," she said to his sister, "don't go telling Mathew about his present."
The next day, Mathew said to his mother, "I like the new bicycle, Mum!"

Four-year old Tommy walked into his house one day carrying a worm.
"Why," demanded his mother, "are you playing with that worm?"
"We were playing outside," replied the boy, "and I thought I'd
show him my room."
我应该让它看看我的房间。

Tommy tore his trousers while climbing a tree. His mother told him to take them off so that she could mend them. "And you can stay in your room until dinner time," she said.
A little while later, she heard a noise in the garden. Thinking that Tommy had disobeyed her, she called out: "You bad boy, are you runnin

Little Harry: I don't like what you said, and I'll give you five
minutes to take it back.
Big Harry: And what if I don't take it back in five minutes?
Little Harry: Well, then I'll give you more time.  
我就再多给你点儿时间。

Two little girls were watching the sparrows eating food at a
bird table.
One of them asked:" I wonder what they eat when they can't find food on the bird table?"
"They eat what they can find, " replied the other.
"What happens when they can

A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.
"Cloth of leather?" asked the salesperson.
"Makes no difference, "replied customer.
"What color?" asked the clerk.
"Any," he responded.
"Size?"
"Give me whatever you pre