Heat and Cold  
A class of Physics at school. The teacher: "Now, who can tell me anything about heat?" A small boy held up his hand: "Heat makes things larger, Sir, and cold makes things smaller." “All right! ”Give an example." "In summer days are longer because it is hot, in winter they are short

Not to Lose the Money
"Dick,"said the mother to her little boy, "take the pitcher out of the cupboard and get some beer. Here is the money, and don't lose it as yesterday." "I shall not lose it today, mother."Dick took the pitcher and went to the a

不同的听众Different Audience
Al Smith was governor of New York State． He was a fa mous man． He was born very poor on the East Side of New York City． He had little education． He worked very hard and won great success．
One day， as governor， he was

As soon as you wake up, you're fired
一睡醒，你就被炒鱿鱼了
Our co-worker went missing for a few hours, and we tore up the place looking for him. The boss finally found him fast asleep. Rather than wake him, he quietly placed a note on the man's chest. "As long as you're asleep," it read, "you have a job. But as s

like mother, like daughter　　　
My husband, a high school teacher, had a meeting with the mother of a student who had a tencency to become distracted during class. He asked if she had noticed that problem when dealing with her aughter. The mother looked thoughtfully at him and then pointed to the far wall, asking

but I'm not listening while doing my make-up.
In class Mary was looking at a samll mirror while combining her hair and doing her make-up. The teacher noticed and 　commented, "you shouldn't do your make-up while listening to class."
Repl

Keys to Success
成功的关键
One day a father was teaching his son and said, "The keys to your success are keeping your word and cleverness. Once you give somebody a promise, you must carry it out on matter what will happen. This is called 'keeping one's words.'

Shave head
刮头
Recently, a man walked into my barbershop asking how much for a haircut. "Eight dollars," I answered. "And for a shave?" "Five dollars." "All right," he said, settling into the barber chair. "Shave my head."
前些日子，有一男的来到我的理

Speeding
超速
Traveling salesmen make their living visiting as many customers as possible. So speeding to get from one appointment to the next is not unheard-of. Which is how I got pulled over by a highway patrolman. "Don't you ever look at the s

Roses for My Wife
On the way home one night, I spotted some fresh-cut roses outside a florist's shop. After selecting a dozen and entering the shop, I was greeted by a young saleswoman.
"Are these for your wife, sir?" she asked.
"Yes," I said.

lifetime warranty
终身保修
After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally had enough money to purchase the expensive coffin he'd originally wanted. So we exhumed the body and transferred his deceased mother into the new steel casket. "What's so special about this coffin

Good Points and Bad Points 优缺点
"This house," said the real-estate salesman, "has both its good points and bad points. To show you I'm honest, I'm goint to tell you about the disadvantage - there is a chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse one block north."

The World's Greatest Swordsman
At an exhibition of the world's best swordsman, the third-place fencer took the stage. A fly was released, and with an arc of his sword he cut the fly in half. The crowd cheered. Then the second-place man sliced a fly into quarters. A hush fell in anticipation of the world's g

First Flight
Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about air accidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr.