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Mother knows the best?
Once while being prepped for a television interview, I was chatting with the host about stay-at-home fathers.I made the point that one reason we’re seeing more stay-at-home dads may be that it’s no longer a given that a man makes more money than his wife.Many families now take earning power into account when deciding which parent will stay home.
At that point,one of the male crew members commented, almost to himself but loud
enough for my benefit,“It should be the better parent who stays home.”A lot of guys say things like that.Usually it’s code for, “My wife(read:any woman)is the better parent.”
I was a stay-at-home father for eight years, so his declaration made me bristle.It implied that our family’s choice could only have been correct if 1 was a “better” parent than my wife.
I think men shoot themselves in the foot with this kind of thinking.I suppose an argument could have been made that when I began staying home my wife was the “better” parent:She had spent more time with Ry,could read him better and calm him more quickly.And given a choice.he’d have picked her over me.But as she was the more employable one.my wife went out to work and I looked after our son.
Know what? I caught up.Because of the increased time I spent with him.I soon knew Ry well,understood what he needed and could look after him more or 1ess as well as my wife could.Actually, the experience helped me unlock one of the world’s GREat secrets:Women are good at looking after children because they do it.It’s not because of any innate female aptitude or a mother’s instinct--which I think is mostly learned anyway.It’s because they put in the time and attention required to become good at the job.
Women obviously get a biological head start from giving birth and nursing.but over the long term experience is more important.When