英语演讲其实很简单，只要把握三个S就够了；
所谓3S\'s，就是（一）Stand up.站起来。
（二）Say what you have to say.说出你该说的话。
（三）And sit down.坐下。
[A]以下先参考七则古今有名的演讲范例。
【一】基督教布道家葛理翰博士，于1956年圣诞节，在纽约体育馆向数万名听众所发表之演讲片段。
Did you know that you can really live any way that you want to live and there’s nothing that God can do about it?
You’re not a puppet on a string; you’re not a mechanical toy that God winds up and turns you loose and you do what you’re supposed to do. You’re made made in the image of God. You’re supposed to do. You’re made in the moral image of God…. You can choose! You can choose the kind of life you’re going to lead. If you want to lead a life totally away from God. Pleasing your own flesh. Your own desires, under the control of your own will without any restraints, without any Lordship of Jesus Christ, go ahead and do it!
No, you cannot escape Jesus. You can try, but you can’t do it.
If Jesus claimed to be God knowing that he was not, then of course he’s a liar. If Jesus thought he was god and didn’t know the difference, he was a maniac. But if Jesus Christ is who he claims to be , God in the flesh, then nothing else counts except to know him. With all of our scientific and technological achievements… with all of our intellectualism, we cannot escape Jesus.
Everybody has to decide about Jesus. Who is he? What was he? What demands does he have on my life today? God said, “I’ll become a man!”
And young people…..., I want to tell you, that’s who Jesus Christ is! God became a man! And God in the form of Jesus Christ, born of a virgin walked among us, and he showed us what God is like. And if I want to know what God is like, I take a long look at Jesus. I watch him as he makes the blind man to see and the dumb man to talk and the dead man to rise.
But that wasn’t why he came. He didn’t come just to live among us; he didn’t come just to teach us a new way of life. Jesus Christ came for another purpose. He came to die on the cross.
You see, the Cross of Christ where he died for our sins, that was a judgment. Jesus said, “To this end was I born.” He was not accidentally put to death. And he said, “My God, why hast thou forsaken me?” at that moment in some mysterious way, God was judging his son, instead of us, he didn’t just give him to die, he gave him to sin, he became sin for us.
你知道人能够以自已希望的方式过活，而上帝对此却无权过问吗？
人并非被线所操控的傀儡; 你也不是由上帝操控，任凭衪上紧或松开发条来支配你一举一动的机械玩具。你是依照上帝的形象而创造的。你是依照上帝精神上的形象创造的．．．你可以选择!你可以选择自已希望的生活方式。如果你要过完全脱离上帝的生活，享受肉体的快乐、放纵自已的欲望、无拘无束任意而行，完全不受耶稣基督的支配，那就去做吧!
不，你不能逃离耶稣。你可以试，但你不能去做。
如果耶稣知道自已不是上帝却自称是上帝，那衪当然是个骗子。如果耶稣不知道人与上帝之别却自认为是上帝，那么衪就是疯子。但如果耶稣基督是正如衪所声称的具有肉体的上帝，那么就没有比认识衪更重要的事了。纵然凭借我们所有的科学与工业技术成就．．．或凭借我们所有的知性，我们依然无法逃离耶稣。
每一个人都必须对耶稣做决定。衪是谁？衪是什么？今天衪对我的生活有何召唤？上帝说：「我将变成一位凡人!」
那么年轻朋友们…，我要告诉你们，那个凡人正是耶稣基督!上帝变成一位凡人!因此上帝以耶稣基督的形体，由处女所生而在人间走动，同时衪向我们宣示上帝的模样。而如果我想知道上帝的模样，我只需凝视耶稣。我注视衪，因为衪使盲人能够看见，使哑巴说话，使死人站起来。
但这并不是衪降临人间的目的。衪降临并非只为了生活在我们之中;衪降临并非只为了教导我们一种新的生活方式。稣基降临是为了别的目的。衪降临是为了被钉死在十字架。
你们看啊呀!耶稣为了我们的罪而被钉死于其上的十字架，正是上帝的审判。耶稣说：「我为此而生。」衪不是意外地被钉死。同时衪说：「我的天父，你为何舍弃我？」在这一刻上帝借着某种神秘的方式，以审判自已的独子来代替审判我们，上帝不仅是让自已的独子受死，而且让衪的死成为罪。耶稣变成了我们的罪。
【二】麦克阿瑟（Douglas MacArthur, 1880-1964），1951离开日本时的演讲。以下是该演讲的结尾。
I am closing my fifty years of military service. When I joined the army, even before the turn of the century it was the fulfillment of all my boyish hopes and dreams. The world has turned over many times since I took the oath on the plain at West Point, and the hopes and dreams have long since vanished, but I still remember the refrain of one of the most popular barrack ballads of that day which proclaimed most proudly that old soldiers never die; they just fade away.
And like the old soldier of that ballad, I now close my military career and just fade away, an old soldier who tried to do his duty as God gave him the light to see that duty. Goodbye.
我即将结束五十年的军旅生涯。我从军是在本世纪开始之前，而这是我童年的希望与梦想的实现。自从我在西点军校的教练场上宣誓以来，这个世界已经过多次变化，而我的希望与梦想早已消逝，但我仍记着当时最流行的一首军歌词，极为自豪地宣示「老兵不死，只是凋谢」。
就像这首歌中的老兵，一位想尽一已之责的老兵，而上帝也赐予光辉使他能看清这一项责任，而我现在结束了军旅生涯，而逐渐凋谢。再见。
【三】肯尼迪就职演说片段。
To that world assembly of sovereign states, the United Nations, our last best hope in an age where the instruments of war have far outpaced the instruments of peace, we renew our pledge of support to prevent its becoming merely a forum for invective---to strengthen its shield of the new and the weak-----and to enlarge the area in which its writ may run.
对于主权国家之世界会议的联合国，在战争的手段远超越和平的手段之今日，我们最后也是最大希望的联合国，我们要更新我们支持联合国的誓词，防止它变成一个漫骂的场所，而要强化它对新入会国与弱小国家的保护，同时扩大其宪章到任何其所能及之地区。...........
All this will not be finished in the first one hundred days. Nor will it be finished in the first one thousand days, nor in the life of this administration, nor even perhaps in our lifetime on this planet. But let us begin.
所有这些不会在前一百日内完成。也不会在前一千日内完成，也不会在我的任期内，甚至不会在我们在世的有生之年内完成，但让我们开始吧！
【四】马丁．路德．金恩牧师，在1963年8月27日于华盛顿发表的演讲「I Have a Dream」之片段。
I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the GREatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.
Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as the joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.
But, one hundred years later, the Negro still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languished in the corners of American society, and finds himself an exile in his own land.
今天我很高兴与大家共同参加这次将会在我国历史上名垂千古，为追求自由而举行的最大一次示威运动。
在一百年以前，有位伟大的美国人签署了奴隶解放宣言，而今天我们正是立足于他所象征的影像下。这项重大的宣告对数百万在苛酷的不公平烈焰下惊惧的黑人而言，不啻是一线伟大的希望之光。它的来临就像愉悦的曙光结束了他们受到束缚的漫长黑夜。
但是一百年后，黑人依然没有自由；一百年后，黑人的生活依然由于种族隔离的手铐与歧视的脚链而悲惨地失去行动自由；一百年后，黑人生活在物质繁荣之大海中的一个贫穷孤岛；一百年后，黑人依然在美国社会的一隅饱受折磨，而发现是自己士地上的被放逐者。
I say to you today, my friends so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American Dream. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up, live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all man are created equal.”
I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave-owners, will be able to sit down together at table of brotherhood. I have a dream that one day even the State of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification, one day right down in Alabama our little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers. I have a dream today.
今天我告诉你们，我的朋友！虽然我们面临今天与明天的困难，但我仍有一个梦想。这是深植于美国之梦的一个梦想。我梦想着有一天这个国家将会站立，过着教义上所说：「我们秉持显而易见的真理，那就是人类生而平等。」的真理生活。
我梦想着有一天在乔治亚的红山岗上，以前奴款之子与以前奴款主人之子，能够一起坐在兄弟之桌上。我梦想着有一天甚至是田纳西州，一个由于不公平热焰而酷热、由于压迫的热焰而酷热的州，也能转变为自由与公正的绿洲。
我梦想着有一天，我的四个子女能够生活在一个国度里，在这个国度里，他们受评断的依据不是肤色，而是人格的内涵。今天我有一个梦想。
我梦想着在亚拉巴马州，在充满恶毒种族主义者、在其州长口口声声反对联邦政府干预地方政府以及反对施行联邦法的这一州，有一天我们的黑人小男孩与黑人小女孩，能够如同兄弟姊妹般地牵着白人小男孩与白人小女孩的手。今天我有一个梦想。
【五】威尔森总统就职演说之片段。
At last a vision has been vouchsafed us of our life as a whole. We see the bad with the good, the debased and decadent with the sound and vital. With this vision we approach new affairs. Our duty is to cleanse, to reconsider, to restore, to correct the evil without impairing the good, to purify and humanize every process of our common life without weakening or sentimentalizing it. There has been something crude and heartless and unfeeling in our haste to succeed and be great.
最后，我们终于对人生有一完整的认知，我们既看到好的也看到坏的，既看到堕落腐败也看到健康活力，以这种认知，我们来处理新事物。我们的责任是去净化、去重新考量、去修复、去纠正错误而不伤害好的、去净化日常生活的每一步，使其具有人生，而非软弱或感情用事，。我们急于成功就伟大事业，常常会租糙成事、冷酷无情。
Nor have we studied and perfected the means by which government may be put at the service of humanity, in safeguarding the health of the Nation, the health of its men and its women and its children, as well as their rights in the struggle for existence. This is not sentimental duty. The firm basis of government is justice, not pity. These are matters of justice. There can be no equality or opportunity, the first essential of justice in the body politic, if men and women and children be not shielded in their lives, their very vitality, from the consequences of great industrial and social processes which they cannot alter, control, or singly cope with. Society must see to it that it does not itself crush or weaken or damage its own constituent parts. The first duty of law is to keep sound the society it serves. Sanitary laws, pure food laws, and laws determining conditions of labor which individuals are powerless to determine for themselves are intimate parts of the very business of justice and legal efficiency.
我们也从来没有研究改进政府措施，来服务人民、保障国家的健康活力以及子女的健全发展。这并非感情用事。政府乃是建立在正义而非怜悯之上。这事关正义。假如人民及子女，其生命与活力，在伟大工业与社会发展中，无法受到保护，那就没有所谓的平等或机会，正这正是政治体制中的基本正义。老百姓面对这些发展结果是无法改变、控制或单独应付的。社会必须留意，本身以能摧毁、削弱或损伤其成员。法律的首要职责即是维持健全的社会。卫生法、纯净食品法、劳动条件法等个从人无力决定的法律，都是正义与法律该处理的细节。
This is not a day of triumph; it is a day of dedication. Here muster, not the forces of party, but the forces of humanity. Men\'s hearts wait upon us; men\'s lives hang in the balance\' men\'s hope call upon us to say what we will do. Who shall live up to the great trust? Who dares fail to try? I summon all honest men, all patriotic, all forward-looking men, to my side. God helping me, I will not fail them, if they will but counsel and sustain me!
今天不是一个胜利的日子，而是奉献的时刻。我们在此非聚集党派的力量，而是聚集全体人民的力量。人民对我们有所期望；他们的生活正面临紧要关头。他们期望我们告诉他们，未来要做什么。谁将担起这伟大的信托？谁敢不去努力？我号召所有正直的人、所有爱这个国家的人、所有具前瞻性的人，站在我身边。愿上帝助我，只要这些人愿提供建议与协助，我绝不会他们失望！
【六】二次世界大战丘吉尔临危受命之演说片段。
丘吉尔向国会发表「血、汗与泪」这篇演说时，二次世界大战正逐渐进入白热化的阶段。德国纳粹的军队在欧陆势如破竹，对隔着英吉利海峡的英国则进行大规模的日夜轰炸，声言要夷平伦敦，企图迫使英国屈服。面对危急存亡的关头，向来采取怀柔政策的前首相张伯伦（Chamberlain）已无法支撑大局，被迫在五月十日辞职下台。同一天，丘吉尔临危受命，组织新政府，成为新的英国首相。
Blood, Sweat and Tears 血、汗与泪
I considered it in the public interest to suggest that the House should be summoned to meet today. Mr. Speaker agreed, and took the necessary steps, in accordance with the powers conferred upon him by the Resolution of the House. At the end of the proceedings today, the adjournment of the House will be proposed until Tuesday, May 21, with, of course, provision for earlier meeting if need be. The business to be considered during that week will be notified to Members at the earliest opportunity.
为全国大众的利益着想，我建议下议院今天应该召开会议。议长礼生已经同意，也按照下议院决议赋予他的权力，采取了必要的步骤。今天戚议结束时，将会提议下议院休会到五月二十一日星期二，当然，附带的决议是，如有必要，可提早复会。休会一周期所考虑的事情奖会尽早通知各内阁阁员。
I now invite the House, by the Resolution which stands in my name, to record its approval of the steps taken and to declare its confidence in the new Government.
现在依据我所签署的决议，请求下议院将它同意行的步骤正式记录下来，并宣示它对新政府的信任。
To form an administration of this scale and complexity is a serious undertaking in itself, but it must be remembered that we are in the preliminary stage of one of the greatest battles in history, that we are in action at many points in Norway and in Holland, that we have to be prepared in the Mediterranean, that the air battle is continuous and that many preparations have to be made here at home.
要组一个这种规棤而又这样复杂的政府本来就是艰难的事情，但我们要记得，我们正处在历史上最大一次战争的初期阶段，我们在挪威与荷兰很多地方正在作战，我们必须在地中海地区做准备，空战正在持续进行中，而在国内这里也必须做很多准备。
In this crisis I hope I may be pardoned if I do not address the House at any length today. I hope that any of my friends and colleagues, or former colleagues, who are affected by the political reconstruction, will make all allowance for any lack of ceremony with which it has been necessary to act.
在这个危急存亡的时刻，如果今天我对下议院的演讲不够详尽，还希望多予体谅。在这次政治改组中，希望受到影响的朋友。同事，或以前的再事能原谅我的失礼，这也是不得已的做法。
I would say to the House, as I said to those who have joined this Government: "I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat." We have before us an ordeal of the most grievous kind. We have before us many, many long months of struggle and of suffering.
正如我对加入新政府的人员说过的，我现在也要对下院说：「除了血、苦干，泪与汗之外，我没有甚么可以奉献的。」我们面对的是一次最严苛的考验。在我们面前的将是很长很长的艰苦岁月。
You ask, What is our aim? I can answer in one word: Victory---victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory, however long and hard the road may be; for without victory, there is no survival. Let that be realized; no survival for the British Empire; no survival for all that the British Empire has stood for, no survival for the urge and impulse of the ages, that mankind will move forward towards its goal.
你们问：我们的政策是甚么？我的回答是：尽我们最大力量，运用上帝赋予我们的一切能力，在海上、陆上和空中进行奋战：奋力对抗一个穷凶极恶的敌人，其残暴在令人悲痛的黑色罪录上是前所未见的。那就是我们的政策。
你们问：我自后的目标是甚么？我可以用一个字来回答：胜利------不惜一切代价的胜利、不畏恐怖的胜利，不管道号可能多么漫长艰苦；因为濡有胜利，就无法生存。这点我们必须了解，大英帝国无法生存，大英帝国代表的一切便不复存在，而推动时代前进、使人类迈向目标的一切动力也不会再有。
But I take up my task with buoyancy and hope. I feel sure that our cause will not be suffered to fail among men. At this time I feel entitled to claim the aid of all, and I say, "Come, then, let us go forward together with our united strength."
但我满怀快乐和希望，努力肩负起我的职责。我确信，我们的理想在人类之间不会遭到失败。这个时候我觉得我有理由要求所有其它人的协助。我要说的是，「奋起吧，我们要团结一致，全力以赴，共同向前迈进。」
★在演说中，丘吉尔以他犀利有力的言词，一再展现他作为一位领袖的坚定意志和刚毅果断的性格。在前面七段中，他首先说明组阁的经过和国际局势的发展。由于时机急迫，他一天之内便组成了一个代表各党派团体一致的「战争内阁」（War Cabinet），快速巩固领导中心，充分显示他处事的魄力和明快果断的作风。第八段至第十段是全篇演说最有力的部分。丘吉尔对他的决心、政策和目标都作了明确的宣示。他告诉英国人民：他的决心是：「除了血、苦干、泪和汗之外，我没有什么可以奉献的。」（I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat.）
★他的政策是：「尽我们最大力量，运用上帝赋予我们的一切能力，在海上、陆上和空中进行奋战。」 (to wage war, by sea, land and air, with all our might and with all the strength that God can give us.) 他的目标是：「胜利~~不惜一切代价的胜利，不畏恐怖的胜利，胜利，不管道路可能多么漫长艰苦；因为没有胜利，就无法生存。」(Victory--victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory, however long and hard the road may be; for without victory, there is no survival.) 这几句铿锵有力的话，已成了战时英国人用来相互激励的名言。而丘吉尔自己更是以身作则，抱定与伦敦共存亡的决心，无论德机轰炸多么惨烈，他都坚守伦敦，没有离开过伦敦一步。
★就在丘吉尔这种坚定果决的领导下，，英国始能上下一心，人人士气高昂，奋起抗敌，终于粉碎德国纳粹的企图，扭转整个战局，赢得最后的胜利。因此在英国人的心目中，丘吉尔是国家民族的救星，也是国家民族的骄傲。而他这篇「血、汗与泪」的演讲，也将永垂青史，成为见证二次世界大战最有力的文献！
生字解释
1.adjournment(n.)休会
2.the House(n.)下议院
3.Mr. Speaker(n.)下议院议长
4.confer(v.)给予
5.ordeal(n.)考验
6.wage(v.)从事
7.lamentable(adj.)悲痛的
8.grievous(adj.)严苛的
9.administration(n.)政府
10.resolution(n.)决议
11.preliminary(adj.)初期的
12.conceive(v.)组成
13.cabinet(n.)内阁
14.buoyancy(n.)快乐
【七】马克吐温的餐后演说：The Babies（俯首甘为孺子牛）
萨姆耳．柯莱门斯(Samuel Clemens 1835~1910)为美国十九世纪著名的幽默演说家及写实主义小说家。他出生于密苏里州的佛罗里达镇，后来在密西西比河畔的汉尼堡市度过童年。一八五七年他当了密西西比河上蒸汽船的领航员。美国南北战争爆发时，他失业了。于是一八六二年他赴美国西部，在内华达州当报纸编辑及新闻记者，并开始创作小说。他回忆在密西西比河上担任领航员时，常听到叫声"Mark Twain" Mark意思为「记号」，Twain意思为「二」。Mark Twain指「水深二噚」，也就是说蒸汽船可以通过的「安全水深」。于是他就取Mark Twain「马克吐温」为笔名。这一篇餐后演说「俯首甘为孺子牛」The Babies，于一八七九年十一月十三日发表于驻芝加哥的田纳西陆军晚宴上。本演说是拿婴儿开玩笑，内容十分诙谐，逸趣横生。
Mr. Chairman And Gentlemen: ---“The Babies!” Now, that s something like---. We haven t all had the good for-tune to be ladies: we have not all been generals, or statesmen; but when the toast works down to the babies, we stand on common ground---for we’ve all been babies. [Laughter.]
It is a shame that for a thousand years the world’s banquets have utterly ignored the baby, as if he didn’t amount to anything! If you, gentlemen, will stop and think a minute--- if you will go back fifty or a hundred years, to your early married life and recontemplate your first baby---you will remember that he amounted to a good deal--- and even something over. [Laughter.]
主席，各位先生：--------「婴儿呀！」那么，那就好像--------。我们都不曾有福气当淑女；我们都不曾当过将军、诗人或政治家；但是当敬酒祝的主题向下延伸到婴儿的时候，我们就站在共同的立场上---------因为我们都当过婴儿。(笑声)真是可惜呀！一千年来世上的宴会完全忽略了婴儿这个主题，似千说他真是一无是处！各位先生，如果你们愿意停下来想一会儿-----如果你们愿意回溯五十年或一百年，回溯到你们早期的婚生活，重新思想你们的第一个婴儿--------你们将会记得他很重要------甚至于比什么都垂要。(笑声)
You soldiers all know
各位战士你们都知道，当那个小家伙到达家庭总部时，你必须甘拜下风，完全听他指挥。你变成他的男仆他的保镳；你也必须在他的四周站岗。他不是一个会考虑时间、距离、天候或任何其它条件的指挥官；不论任务可能于否，你必须执行他的命令。同时在他的战术手册中只有一种行军方式，那就是急行军。(笑声)他以各种蛮横无理的方式对待你，而你们当中即使最勇敢的战士也不敢吭声。你可以面对达那逊 (Donelson)与维克斯堡(Vicksburs)战场的枪林弹雨，并且勇敢回击；但是当他抓你的腮须，拔你的头 发，又拧你的鼻子的时候，你必须接受。(笑声)当你的耳边响起战火的隆隆炮声时，你面向炮台，以稳健的步代前进；但是当他发出攻击的恐怖吶喊声时(笑声)，你就会掉头-----从相反的方向前进，并且很高兴有这个机会逃走。当他要求喝美味的糖浆时，你胆敢说出冒犯长官或绅士的话语吗？你不敢；你会立刻起身去拿！如果他命令你给他奶瓶又嫌它不够热时，你敢顶嘴？你不敢；你会立刻去加热！你甚至会以仆役的身分卑躬身，亲自去吸一口那温热、淡而无味的东司，看看它是否合适！------水与奶粉的比例为三比一，加上少量糖以缓和婴儿的腹痛，再加上少许薄荷糖以防止经常发生的打嗝。我也能尝尝那种东西呀！
And how many
随着婴儿的成长过程，你学到了多少东西！多愁感的年轻带妻常仍然相信那句美丽古老的俗谚。那就是说，当婴儿睡眠的时候会面带微笑，那是因为天使们对他说悄悄话。这是非常美的谚，但是「理由太薄弱了」----------朋友！它只是肚子胀气啊！(笑声) 如果这个婴儿在他例行的时刻提议去散步一在凌晨两点半-----你不是都得立刻起床，并且说………..那正是你自已想要建议的事吗？啊！你真是严守纪律。当你穿着「赤裸的军服」(笑声)在卧房烦躁地来回走动时，你不但牙牙学语地说些毫无尊严的儿语，而且你甚至会调整你的军人声音，议着去唱催眠曲，例如「宝贝的摇篮在树梢，摇啊摇」。对一支田纳西州的陆军而，这是保的景观呀！同时对邻居们而口，这是何等的折磨，因为在方圆一英里内，并不是每一个人都喜欢在凌晨三点钟听军歌。(笑声)而且，那种事持续了两三小时以后，这时你的小毛头暗示说没有任何事情比运动与噪音更适合他，同时建议即使要花上整个晚上也要在那条阵在线坚持到底-----你就持续不懈吧！你到底怎么做？你只好奋战下去，真到你跌落最后的战沟而死。(笑声)
PS:
在美式的宴会中，主人或主宾往往会利用在正餐结束，甜点尚未端上来之前的几分钟空档，做简短的演说。这种餐后演说（after-dinner speech）往往有一个主题，其目的不外乎针对某个节日或个人成就等的祝贺。
在这篇演说中，马克吐温题然是宴会的主宾。他针对一群美国大邱演讲。我们知道，一篇演说如果要引起听众共鸣，最好选择与听众共同的经验为主题。马克吐温与美国大皆不曾当当过女、将军、诗人或政治家，但都当过婴儿。因此他选婴儿当主题，不但适合宴会时轻松的气氛，而且容易引起共鸣。
第二、三段的幽默主要来自强烈的对比───勇敢刚强的军人对上柔弱无助的婴儿。不管军人多么勇猛，一碰上柔弱的婴儿则甘拜下风。马克吐温用许多例子制造笑果。例如婴儿一到家庭总部，军人就变成他的男或保镳；婴儿的军令如山，必须急速执行；军人可面对枪林弹雨，但婴儿抓他的胡须、拔他的头发、或拧他的鼻子时，他必须乖乖接受；在隢晨两点半婴儿一下令赤身裸体的军人必须立刻起身唱军哥等，颇具笑果。换言之，军人虽有「虽千万人吾亦往矣「的气慨，但是一碰上蛮横无理的婴儿，则必俯首委屈求全。这种情形鲁迅在一九三二年十月十二日的（自嘲）诗中的名句「横眉冷对千带指，俯首甘为孺子牛」差可比拟。
英国浪漫诗华滋渥斯（Ｗilliam Wordsworth）有一句名诗“the child is the father of the man.” 意思是说，借着研究小孩的个性，就可以知道他将来长大会变成怎样的人。马克吐温显然是把华滋渥斯的那句诗改为“the child is the prophecy of the man.” 如果小孩是成年人的预言，那么马克吐温举了许多未来的伟人为例，不正是说我们不可以轻看摇篮中的婴儿吗？
[B]英语演讲实用语句
1.欢迎会【24句】
2.送别会【20句】
3.庆祝会【17句】
4.庆生会【20句】
5.婚礼【15句】
6.节日【13句】
7.节庆【15句】
8.比赛的开幕、闭幕【16句】
9.与学校有关的会【12句】
10.座谈会【13句】
11.演讲会【20句】
1.欢迎会【24句】
12.国际交流营【16句】
1.Welcome to Shanghai.欢迎到上海来。
2.We are delighted to see you again.我们很高兴又再见面了。
3.We’ve been counting the days to see you.我们一直算着日子要和你再见面。
4.I hope you’ll stay as log as possible.我希望你尽可能住久一点。
5.I hope you will have a very enjoyable stay.我希望你在此期间过得很愉快。
6.It is my great pleasure to say to Mr. Smith “Welcome back to Shanghai!’’我很高兴能够对史密斯先生说“欢迎回到上海”。
7.It is my special pleasure to welcome Mr. Smith.我非常高兴来欢迎史密斯先生。
8.It is my pleasure to welcome Miss Smith back.很高兴欢迎史密斯小姐回来。
9,It is my pleasure to welcome you all here to day.今天我很高兴欢迎各位。
10.It is my pleasure to welcome Mr. Smith to our company.很高兴欢迎史密斯先生到我们公司来。
11.Welcome to our company from all the members of this section, Mr. Smith.史密斯先生，本课所有同仁欢迎你到本公司来。
12.I take great pleasure in bidding you all a hearty welcome to our company.很高兴能够衷心的欢迎您来我们公司。
13.It is my great pleasure to say a few words of hearty welcome to Mr. Smith.很荣幸能说几句话表示对史密斯先生衷心欢迎。
14.The first thing that I would like to say to Mr. Smith is a hearty “ Welcome home!”我最先想对史密斯先生说的心底话是：欢迎回国！
15.I want to assure Mr. Smith that we will all give him our support in his efforts.我想向史密斯先保证，我们每个人对他的努力将给予支持。
16.It is my pleasure and honor to welcome back Mr. Smith who has been in Canada for the past three years.过去三年史密斯先生都在加拿大，我很高兴也很荣幸来欢迎他回。
17.Please go ahead before it gets cold.趁热吃。
18.Thank you for your kindness.谢谢你的一番盛情。
19.I’m very happy that I’ve come back to Shanghai.我很高兴我回到上海了。
20.I had long been looking forward to coming back.我老早就期待着回来。
21.I’m very grateful to you for all your kindness.你的厚意我非常感激。
22.I have no words with which to thank you for holding this welcome party for me.我不知要用什么话来感谢你们为我办这个欢迎会。
23.I don’t know how I can thank you sufficiently for holding this welcome party for me.你们为我办这个聚会，我不知道要如何才足以表示我的谢意。
24.On behalf of all my fellow students from Taiwan I wish to say a word of hearty thanks to Mr. Smith.谨代表所有我从台湾来的留学生，向史密斯先生表示由衷的谢意。
2.送别会【20句】
1.Goodbye, and have a good year.再见了，祝你未来一年都很顺利。
2.We are gathered here today to send off one of our upperclassman, Mr. Smith, who has been appointed to his new post in London. 今天在这里我们在这里相聚，为我们的学长史密斯先生送别，他被派到伦敦担任新职。
3.May you have the best of luck in San Francisco.祝你在旧金山会有很好的运气。
4.1.I really don’t know whether to be happy or sad here today.今天在这里我真的不知道要高兴，还是要悲伤。
5.A year seems like such a long time to be away, so we will miss you a lot, and we hope you will miss us, too.过了一年，似乎是很久远以前的事，我们会很想念我 你，希望你一样想念我们。
6.We will miss him as a worker amongst us and also as a cheerful friend who could always brighten the day around here.他是我们的同仁，也是让我们在这儿的日子充满欢乐的一位开朗的朋友，我们会怀念他的 。
7.I hope you will think of me from time to time as I shall be thinking of you always.我希望你们不时会想到我，就像我经常会想着你们一样。
8.I certainly wish Mr. Smith the best of luck in everything he undertakes, either academically or socially, at Hope College and in America.我祝福史密斯先生在霍浦学院和美国，不论是在学术上或是在社会上，一切顺利，万事如意。
9.Thank you for taking time off from your busy jobs to come here tonight to say goodbye to Miss Smith.感谢你们今晚从百忙之中抽空到这儿向史密斯小姐道别。
10.All the members of your department are before you today to wish you farewell and good luck in your future.你部门的所有同仁都来到你面前，祝你一路平安，未来福星高照。
11.Soinstead of concluding my speech with the customary “Good-bye,” allow me to say “Good luck and much happiness!”不要照一般习惯说“再见”作为结尾，我要说的是“祝好运，万事如意！”
12.I’m full of excitement.我很兴奋。
13.I owe a great deal to all of you.我欠你们大家太多了。
14.Thank you for coming here tonight to see me off.谢谢你们今晚来为我送行。
15.I will miss all of you while I’m away.我没和你们在一起时，我会惦记着你们每个人。
16.I thank all of you for what you have done for me.我很感谢大家的一番厚意。
17.I did not expect at all that you would hold a party like this for me.我一点也没想到你们为我举办一个这样的聚会。
18.In the first place, I wish to say a word of thanks for holding this send-off party for me.为我办这个欢送会，首先我要说声谢谢。
19.I certainly am thankful to the company for giving me such a chance, and I earnestly hope that I will live up to everyone’s expectations.我非常感谢公司给我这样的一个机会，我诚挚期盼不负大家的期许。
20.I’d like to thank Mr. Smith not only for coming to this party, but also for making such a nice speech full of good advice and kind words encouragement.我要感谢史密斯先生莅临这个聚会，以及发表这么棒的演讲，充满了受益良多的忠告和鼓励的话。
3.庆祝会【17句】
1.Congratulations!恭喜！
2.Let me congratulate you on your success.恭喜你成功了。
3.It is my great privilege to say a word of congratulation to Mr. Smith on the occasion of~.在~的时候，我很荣幸向史密斯先生表示道贺。
4.It is my great pleasure to say a word of hearty congratulation to Mr. Smith on the occasion of~.在~的时候，我很荣幸向史密斯先生表示衷心的道贺。
5.I wish to congratulate the staff members who are present here today on the memorable occasion of~.在这个难忘的~时刻，我向出席的同仁们表示恭喜之意。
6.It is my great pleasure this evening to welcome Mr. Smith, who has just arrived from Chicago and will be spending several weeks in Shanghai.今晚我很荣幸来欢迎史密斯先生，他刚从芝加哥来，将在上海停留几个礼拜。
7.It is with a great pleasure that we gather here today to hear Mr. Smith, who is~.今天很荣幸大家聚在一起听史密斯先生讲话，他是~
8.On behalf of everyone gathered here tonight, I would like to say how happy we are to see you again.谨代表今晚来此的每一个人，表达我们又再见到您的欢喜的心情。
9.We are all thrilled that won in such a famous contest.在这么有名的比赛中你赢了，我们都很兴奋。
10.Thanks also goes to Mr. Smith who has spent many long hours working with us.也要谢谢史密斯先生，他与我们工作了一段很长的时间。
11.We are here today to pay our respects to Mr. Smith, winner of the Shanghai Golf Tournament.史密斯是上海高尔夫球赛的获胜者，今天我们在这里向他表示我们的敬意。
12.I am truly happy to speak for all of us in congratulating Mr. Smith, the winner of the Contest.我真的很高兴为我们大家向比赛的胜利者史密斯先生表示道贺。
13.It is a great pleasure to gather here today to pay honor to our debating team which won in the Shanghai Debating Contest.今天很荣幸能够聚在这里，向我们的辩论队致敬，他们赢得上海辩论比赛。
14.On behalf of the judges, I want to take this opportunity to extend our heartfelt congratulations to your team members on your stunning victory in the debating contest.谨代表所有评审，用这个机会，向你们的队员在辩论赛中赢得漂亮的胜利表示由衷的祝贺。
15.Unfortunately, due to pressure of business, her husband has been unable to come to Shanghai this time, but I understand he hopes to pay a visit next year.很不巧，因为工作关系，她先生这一次未能来上海，但我知道他希望明年能来。
16.During her all too brief stay here, Mrs. Smith will be renewing acquaintance with many of her old friends and visiting? Places she knew well before.史密斯夫人在此过于短暂的停留期间，要再见见许多老朋友，看看以前她熟悉的地方。
17.Let me begin by saying “Thank you” to all who have come to attend this evening.一开始让我向所有今晚出席者说声「谢谢」。
4.庆生会【20句】
1.Happy birthday to you, Mary!玛莉，祝妳生日快乐！
2.May you live to be hundred years old.祝你长命百岁（寿比南山）。
3.May all your birthdays be happy and gay.祝你所有的生日都充满欢乐与喜悦。
4. Thank you for your kind invitation.谢谢你一番好意邀请我来。
5.Thanks for inviting me.谢谢你邀请我来。
6.It’s very kind of you to invite me.你邀请我来，真是一番好意。
7.Ladies and gentlemen, I wish to propose a toast to our Mary.各位女士，各位先生，我想我们向玛莉干杯祝贺。
8.Happy birthday from all us!我们全体祝你生日快乐！
9.What a joy it is to have wonderful friends like you!有你们这么棒的朋友，真是高兴。
10.I want to express our heartfelt congratulations to you on your seventeenth birthday.你过十七岁生日，我要向你表示我们衷心的祝贺之意。
11.We all hope we will have the pleasure of celebrating many more with you.我们都希望每年都能高兴的和你过生日。
12.We have bought this present for you, and we hope you’ll keep it for many years to come.我们买这礼物送你，希望你能一直都留在身边。
13.All of the people (students) here want to wish you the happiest of birthdays and many more to come in the future.这里所有的人（学生）都祝你过最快乐的生日，将来也年年如此。
14.It is a real pleasure to be here among such old and true friends who have gathered to help you celebrate your birthday.能够和你的老朋友和忠实的朋友们一起来帮你庆生，真是很高兴。
15.I consider it a great privilege to say a word of hearty congratulation to Bob on the happy occasion of his birthday.在鲍伯过生日的这个欢乐时刻，能够说句话向他表示由衷道贺，真是无比的荣幸。
16.Thank you all once again for coming.谢谢你们再度光临。
17.Words can’t express how grateful I am to you all.言语无法表达我对你们每个人的感激。
18.I am truly honored by the kindness and attention you have shown me today.今天你们对我的厚意与关照，我真的感到很荣幸。
19.Please sit down with us now and eat and drink and have a good time.现在请和我们坐下来一起吃，一起喝，好好的玩。
20.I wish to repeat what I said at the beginning of my speech: “Thank you for coming to this party, and in particular, for the assurance you have given me of your warm friendship by your kind gifts and words of congratulation.”我想再说一次刚开始时所说的话：「谢谢你们来参加庆生会，尤其要谢谢你们的好礼与贺词所表示的温馨的友谊。」
